Top 10: Reasons Willy's Ugly Sweater is Missing

Thursday, December 19, 2013
Willy ShagsGiant Teddy heard Willy Shags
Willy Shags and the ugly Christmas sweater our blog readers selected for him

When the big teddy bears at Giant Teddy heard Willy Shags was going to ask Santa for yet another ugly Christmas sweater, they got busy planning how it could "disappear"...

Top 10 Explanations for Willy's Missing Ugly Sweater

10. We saw a UFO take it away in a spaceship.

 9.  Rudolph had a runny nose and Santa was forced to let him use your ugly sweater as a reindeer hanky.

 8. There was a poor little orphan walking uphill 20 miles in the snow to school and naturally we were sure you'd want the little orphan to be warm so we handed over your ugly sweater in a gesture of goodwill. The orphan turned out to be a bit of a fibber and we haven't seen either one again. OK it might have been a trash truck but it did look very very sad and kind of like an orphan...

 7. A freak kitchen fire broke out when DeeDee Cuddles was baking cookies and your ugly sweater was used to put out the flames. Don't worry, it didn't feel a thing - and it's in a better place now.

 6. A kitten was stuck in a tree, and we were using your ugly sweater to wrap the kitten in to rescue her... and, well, you know how cats feel about yarn and baubles and shiny things and your sweater has it all... one thing led to another and we managed to save part of one sleeve. But then the kitten threw up a fur ball on it, and we lost the sleeve at the dry cleaner. These things happen.

5. We entered it as a contestant on "Survivor" and the long and short of it is, it didn't survive.

4. Your ugly sweater was out hiking and had a run-in with a mountain lion. It wasn't pretty. But you'd have been proud, it put up a heck of a fight, Willy. Heck of a fight.

3. Someone attempted to steal our candy and so we flashed your ugly sweater at him, and he was blinded by the glare and unable to flee the scene. Word from the hospital is the thief may never recover full vision in the right eye where a flash from the tinsel trim burned his retina. A full sweater hero parade is planned but first, it has to stay locked up in the police evidence room. What rotten luck.

2. The space station needed your sweater - ask not what your sweater can do for you, but what your sweater can do somewhere else far far away from here - uh, I mean for your country.

1. Sunny Cuddles stole your ugly sweater and used it to polish up his sports car. And we are telling on him because he won't ever let us drive it...

sleeve at the dry cleaner

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